Friday, May 27, 2011

Men Are Just Happier People, DAMIT!

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Thier last name stays put. The garage is all thiers.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
They can be President. but can never be pregnant.
They can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. They can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell them the truth.
The world is thier urinal.
They never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
They don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at their chest when they are talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle thier feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
They know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
They can open all their own jars.
They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite them, he or she can still be their friend.

Thier underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. They almost never have strap problems in public. They are unable to see wrinkles in thier clothes.
Everything on thier face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. They only have to shave thier face and neck.

They can play with toys all thier life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. They can wear shorts no matter how thier legs look.
They can 'do' thier nails with a pocket knife.
They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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